Why being yourself at work is still a luxury
Despite more discourse around bringing your whole, authentic self to work, for many workers, being truly themselves on the job is still a luxury. They’re poking fun at it though on TikTok, with a new trend where users expose who they are on the job vs. outside of work.
The clips first show either a professional headshot or video of them sending an email at their desk in the office, then a video of themselves in their free time. For many, out-of-office time includes silly outfits and antics that many wouldn’t bring up in the workplace, but can be an important part of their identity.
In karenbrenee’s video, she shows a clip of her in a professional wrestling match. User joshsundquist’s shows him bouncing around in a Tigger costume at an amusement park. And lamonjadepomona spins around dressed as a demonic nun at a fair.
“NUN to see here! – to HR on Monday,” one commenter wrote.
Ideas around keeping one’s work and home life separate have shifted following the pandemic, with some striving for greater balance and distinction between the two. That can be a good thing, but also might hinder opportunities to better understand each other and make connections on the job that boost collaboration, engagement and a sense of belonging.
“The cognitive capacity it takes to cover up your true thoughts and feelings takes away from your ability to effectively do your job,” said Christy Pruitt-Haynes, distinguished faculty for leadership and performance at the Neuroleadership Institute.
Over 40% of workers fear they can’t totally be themselves at work, according to a survey from Express Employment Professionals and Harris Poll, including responses from over 1,000 U.S. workers. And 80% said they like to keep their work and home life separate and not discuss personal topics on the job.
Some other factors driving this include shifting workplace etiquette norms making it tricky for staff to know what’s acceptable, with over half of workers reporting it’s confusing to know what is and isn’t OK at work today. And some topics that may be close to one’s identity that are most often avoided at work — like religion and politics, the report found.
But being too guarded can squash chances of making friends at work, which is increasingly important in today’s remote and hybrid arrangements. Work friends provide essential social and emotional support, and tie strongly with meeting key business outcomes, according to a report from Gallup.
People who have a best friend at work are significantly more likely to engage customers and internal partners, get more done in less time, innovate and share ideas, and ultimately, have fun while they’re at work, that report found.
“When we feel as though we can’t be our whole self, it makes us less likely to engage with others, so it keeps us from having those connections,” Pruitt-Haynes said. Having work friends “adds to our overall enjoyment of our work day, but it also adds to our ability to collaborate with others,” she said.
“There’s a certain level of vulnerability and trust around showing up authentically at work, and those same factors also play a role in innovation and performance,” said Kyle Sandell, senior executive engagement consultant and a behavioral scientist at BetterUp. And having friends at work also leads to reduced turnover, Sandell said.
But some think it’s actually a good idea for people to more clearly separate their personal and professional lives. “Having that divide between work and life allows us to potentially just protect that space a bit better,” said Stephanie Miller, Express Employment International’s director of talent acquisition and retention.
“I think it’s allowing people to have some personal boundaries and then also be very aware and respectful of differences with their co-workers,” she said.